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It’s all the awkwardness of Internet dating with the added fun of a science project! There are real advantages to dating with science, as explained by the site’s “6 benefits of scientific matching.” The number one benefit?“Chances are increased that you’ll love the natural body fragrance of your matches.” Wait, is this secretly a dating site for people who refuse to use deodorant?“You don’t have to be a farmer, but you do have to have good old-fashioned down to earth values,” says Jerry Miller, the site’s founder.Jerry, “old-fashioned values” is code for either being racist or being Amish, and the latter can’t use the Internet. Never mind—after watching that commercial we’re guessing Farmers Only is less Confederacy Couples and more First Cousin Fornicating.
You’re wrong, city slicker—Farmers Only is more nuanced than that.Finding love is hard, and it’s even harder when you’re only attracted to Asian midgets with Parkinson’s disease and a lisp.In the old days you would have died alone, but thanks to the Internet we now know that no matter how insane your tastes are there’s a community out there that shares them.Hell, their slogan is “City folks just don’t get it! Vampires need love as much as we mere mortals, as a variety of terrible novels have demonstrated. Daytime activities are out, and they can’t go to the bar without the risk of being killed by George Clooney. Well, as luck would have it, the Internet is the perfect place for mopey freaks who sit around in the dark all day. Face Mate sounds like the British version of Facebook, but it’s actually another attempt to match people with science.According to Face Mate, we’re subconsciously attracted to people with facial features similar to our own, and so the site uses facial recognition technology to pair up lookalikes.